closing wednesday...moving friday!!

wow...i havent updated in a while! we have been very busy! last week my grandmother got put in the hospital so we rushed home last thursday so i could stay with her and give my mom a break. she is still in the hospital but is doing better and will hopefully get out soon!

BIG NEWS!! we close on our house this wednesday...my birthday!! we are VERY excited. although...we both have to work tuesday night...im just not looking forward to being tired all day. im trying to find someone to work part of the shift for me! we are doing a walk through at the house at 1:00 pm and we will close at 2:00. we plan on taking some of my dishes and a few other things and staying in the house wednesday night. we will come back to bham on thursday to finish packing up and then move everything on friday! nicholas' parents will be coming up to help us! we will be ready for company on saturday!!!

it has been fun thinking about what colors we want to paint a couple of the bedrooms and shopping for outdoor stuff. we bought some tiki torches the other day to put down along the river bank. just pray that its pretty this weekend...i think there's a chance of rain!

i have been a horrible friend lately. we have been sooo busy and i have been sooo tired i havent even talked to any of my friends. i am going to try to do better. work has kicked my butt the past couple of weeks! i had the worst night ever at work last wednesday night. i had a very very sick baby who didnt make it. it was a very long week! i came in to work early tonight for a friend, so pray that i make it till 8:00 am. i guess i should get back to work. i will try to post again soon! we are going to have a busy week!

i hope everyone has a BLESSED week!

another night in the rnicu!

ahhhh...finally a quiet night in the regional neonatal intensive care! after a very intense night thursday, i requested to go into our isolation room all by myself and have 2 babies. our acuity is VERY high right now! its like a zoo around here! when people think about the neonatal intensive care they automatically think of premature babies that fit in the palm of your hand, which is the majority of what we see. here at uab we have lots of cardiac babies as well! we actually get all of the cardiac babies here! they are usually bigger babies and for the most part term babies...they just have different heart defects and usually need surgery/surgeries. we also see lots of random/rare things around here! anything from conjoined twins, lots of multiple births (no octuplets though), major chromosomal defects, babies born with missing limbs or organs, lots of downs syndrome babies (they usually have a heart defect too), etc...just to name a few. my favorite are usually the preemies, although i have gotten very attached to several heart babies in the past. there was baby gabe who had a rare heart/lung defect! we became very attached. he passed away in december. baby luke was my first attachment in the rnicu! he was a heart baby and he passed away in june 2008. they both fought with all they had, but our great GOD was ready to take them home and make them perfect little angels! there have been lots of preemies! parker and madison come to mind first! they were both tiny little bundles of joy!



there is no way on earth to describe what my job is like! you have to come and see it for yourself! we see babies come and go so often. sometimes the situation is heartbreaking and unbearable to think about, but there are joyous times as well...when you get to see them go home with their mommy's and daddy's. i have the most rewarding job anyone could ask for! people make fun of me around here because i am so nice and talkative to my families and they all love me. i could not imagine being a parent and having a baby up here. it is soooo stressful!

there is no greater feeling knowing that a mom and dad can sleep at night because they know you are taking great care of their most precious gift.i absolutely love what i do even though at times it is extremely mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting all at the same time!

i think with every person and every job, you have those horrific/nightmare nights or days and you think to yourself...nights like that make me want to quit my job. i have had several, but after a little griping and complaining i put on my big girl panties and come right back into work the next night and fall in love with my job all over again.

i knew since i was 13 years old that i wanted to be a neonatal nurse. God placed a set of premature twin boys into my care, and i totally fell in love with them. i was blessed to have such clarity and assurance in what God wanted me to do with my life! i am also blessed to have such amazing parents who made my dream possible and put me through school. my mom, dad, and sister were my number one cheerleaders too! they heard a whole lot of complaining, crying, yelling, and the exhaustion in my voice. they never gave up on me and i never gave up on myself!

i am sitting here now looking at my two sick little babies wishing i could miraculously make them all better, so they could go home where they belong. no baby deserves to suffer and go through what they have to endure, BUT like me...GOD has a huge plan for their lives! i do not know how any family could survive this place and not have faith in my Jesus! He is the Great Physician!

like i said earlier...preemies are my favorite. babies are considered premature from 22 weeks to usually 36 weeks. we have to go to ALL high risk deliveries here. if they come as early as 22-24 weeks their eyes are usually still fused, their skin is gelatinous, and you can see every little vein in their body. they are sooo fragile! everything about them is premature. their lungs, heart, eyes, ears, skin, kidneys, liver, EVERYTHING! we are their lifeline...we breath for them, keep their tiny little hearts beating, keep their bellies from dying, keep them warm and moist, give them nutrition through an iv, etc...i could go on for hours. i have had babies as small as 12 ounces...they fit in the palm of my hand. all i can do is pray that God will grow and heal their bodies. i LOVE my babies! but we not only take care of the babies, we take care of their families and sometimes that is the hardest part!



i guess the point is...i love my job! God has put me here for a very special reason and He is using me in a very special way! that thought makes me very excited!

a pedicure makes everything better!!

i had a great pedicure today! although the massage chair bout threw me in the floor a few times! it also kept squeezing the devil out of my rear end...i couldnt figure out how to make it stop, so i just sucked it up and dealt with it. it was kinda funny! my toes look much better! it's amazing how much better i feel after sleeping till 1:00 pm today, doing a lil shopping by myself, and a nice pedicure! nicholas played golf with some of his buddies, so i decided i would do something that i enjoy doing!

i found a great shop in cahaba heights called 'the nesting place'. they have the cutest home decor! i could have gone crazy but i did good! i bought 3 beach mats that were 50% off! i can use them on our pier and whenever we go to the beach! they had soooo much stuff that would look cute at our new house! we are excited about buying stuff for the outdoors! we are looking for adirondack chairs for the pier, tiki torches, plants, etc. its sooo much fun! we dont really have a yard where we are now and the AHA takes care of the lawn and stuff. we are excited about playing outside all the time!

we are going to the beach with my family the end of june!! my parents, suz and heath, and me n nicholas. we are very excited about it!! i have been to the beach with his family a couple of times but he has never been with mine! he's in for a treat! we always have the best time!

i started doing some packing tonight! it made me even more excited for some reason! i guess because it makes it "for real". i really didnt do much...i just started with picture frames and all of the pictures that were hanging on the walls. most of what we will be taking is kitchen stuff and furniture. so its mostly big things. its getting closer! bout 2 weeks away!!

thats enough for now...i gotta go fold clothes (my most favorite chore)!! have a good one!

frustrated but stayin strong!

today was very hard! i dont even know how to describe how i feel about it! i woke up around 10:30 and nicholas had breakfast ready so i could eat and take my antibiotic. i didnt want to get up. i think the antibiotic im taking for that test is making me really tired! so i ate bfast and then went back to sleep on the couch with molly till about 12:00. oh yea...i had a small breakdown before going back to sleep and molly was so sweet...she licked my tears away! she's so perfect! my husband is too! he has been so strong for me!

my parents got here about 1:00pm and drove us to the kirklin clinic for my test. we got there on time at 2pm and they took me back pretty quickly. although i had to wait forever once i got back there. i started out in a waiting room with 2 women who honestly talked my ears off!! one of them was 44 years old, has a 13 year old son, and for some reason now wants another baby. what i didnt inform her of is that i take care of sick babies and most we see from women that age do not turn out so well. she got a good report, so i guess i might be seeing her in the next year or so in the rnicu. the other lady was older as well. she has 4 older children not by her current husband, so she wants a baby with him now. i wanted to tell her the same thing.

what i didnt tell them is that i am almost 24 years old, have had one major surgery which has already reduced my chances of having kids by 50%, and i have always wanted kids, and now i dont know if it is going to be physically possible to do it on our own. i guess i am being way too hard on myself, and i guess i might be a lil bit jealous of others. its an extremely hard situation to be in! i just love babies SOOO much! i was quite nervous and emotional today. after they had both gone back i was left sitting there by myself for quite some time. i did a lot of praying and reflecting! i believe God's word when He tells us that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart!! enough about the waiting room...

i went back for the test and they said that once i was prepped nicholas could come back. i had to answer lots of questions and here the not so fun risks of the test...the worst being i could get a pulmonary embolus (if you dont know...that can kill you), so if i got short of breath to let them know. the doctors and nurse that were there were very nice and comforting. they started what they had to do which was extremely unpleasant feeling! i was terribly uncomforable and began to cry. the nurse tried to comfort me, but for some reason i just got worse. the typical way they normally do the test was not working, so they tried a different catheter. i wont go into to many details but they are supposed to insert a catheter and shoot dye into my uterus to see where all it flows (to see whats open). the problem was that they could not even get the catheter in far enough to shoot the dye in. after being tortured and somewhat embarrassed i was having a total come apart. they did let nicholas come in earlier than they had planned to hold my hand.

needless to say the test was not done after all that waiting and torture. i have made an appointment with my doctor for march 20th to talk to him about what to do. they can give me some medicine to help with the procedure, but i just dont know if i am going to be ready anytime soon to go through it all again. the anticipation was horrible! we may end up waiting a while since we are not going to be ready to have kids anytime soon. we also have enough going on in our lives right now...i just want to enjoy being happy and being newlyweds right now and not worry about what could be wrong.

everyone knows that i am a FIRM believer that everything happens for a reason! there's a reason i didnt get any answers today! God is taking care of me and nicholas in a very special way! i feel like we are only stronger because of what we've been through. i love my life and everything about it. all of this is just a little hard to understand sometimes.

i serve and incredible GOD!! He has blessed me with the most amazing husband, parents, sister and brother in law, grandmother, cousins, aunts and uncles and incredible friends who i know are continually praying for us! my parents have been here through it all and have been great! my sister is my number one prayer warrior and number one chearleader! she has been right by my side in spirit every step of the way.

its wierd because my sister and my dad have both told me that they believe the reason they couldnt do it today is because God is still working and healing my left fallopian tube. maybe it just isnt ready to be disturbed. i totally believe that it's possible!

we will see where the Lord leads in the next few months! in the meantime...im going to quit feeling sorry for myself and for get about it all! i am going to be excited about moving into our new house and start packing up the one we are in now!

i believe with all of my heart that God has an incredible plan for our lives and He will continue to give us the strength and peace we need to carry on! i am sooooo blessed!

a lil bit anxious!

i have to admit that i am a lil bit nervous about my test today at 2 pm. i have done very well trying not to think about it and being strong, but deep down inside i think there is quite a bit of anxiety. i do believe with all of my heart that God is taking care of me and nicholas, and that whatever happens 'His will' will be done! I am reminded of a song i learned when i was little. It goes something like this....

"He's still working on me, to make me what i ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth, and jupiter and mars. How loving and patient He must be, He's still working on me."

why of all the songs in the world...i dont know why exactly that one comes to mind. i guess here lately i have been realizing how imperfect i am as a human being. God will be working in my life as long as i live!! i never in a million years thought i would ever be sick, have to go into the hospital, and have a major surgery! especially only about a month and a half after i got married. I know God has a wonderful reason for everything like i have said before, but sometimes its just hard to "let go, and let God." i think i all too often try to take matters into my own hands and do things my own way! i have so much faith and believe with all of my heart that today will go well.

i started an antibiotic on sunday and will continue to take it for several days after the test. i have been warned that it can make me pretty sick if certain things happen. i am prepared for whatever happens. nothing could possibly worse than the pain i felt back in december! whatever the results of the test may be...we are prepared for what lies ahead!! i have the greatest God in the world who loves me for me, is patient with me even though im stubborn, and has an incredible will for mine and nicholas' lives.

thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! we continue to be blessed everyday! i have the most amazing husband in the world and we love being married!

wonderful weekend!

we have had a GREAT weekend! suzy and heath got to gadsden late friday night! we took them to see our new house saturday morning at 10:30, and we got to meet the previous owners! they are incredible and very generous people! they are from georgia and the only reason they are selling their house is because it is not big enough for all of their children and grandchildren. they have purchased a piece of land in the southside/ohatchee area to build a bigger house on the river. they say this will be their last house to build...they will be retiring there. they are also trying to sell their house in georgia. they were just very nice!

it's time for us to start packing up again! it seems like we just got finished unpacking and moving into our townhouse! i am trying to get organized and make lots of lists, so the move will go as smoothly as possible! we will be closing on march 25th and moving on march 27th!

nicholas, dad, mom, molly and me went out to the house earlier this afternoon and the guys fished off the pier and mom and i sat on the back porch and just talked! dad and nicholas caught several fish in the little time we were there! it made them very proud! we headed back to bham shortly after that and came through ashville...the way we will be going to work...it only took about 45 minutes at the most! not as bad as i thought it would be!

i guess i should wrap it up and get to work. i hope everyone has a WONDERFUL week!

waiting...

i am SOOO ready for my suzy and heath to get here!! nicholas and i came to mom and dads this weekend because they are going to be home for a couple of days! they havent met molly yet so they are excited about meeting her! im trying to stay awake till they get here!

today was a GREAT day! we met the home inspector at our "soon to be" house!! the inspection went better than we could have expected which it should have gone well because the house is less than 2 years old. there were only 3 things that need to be fixed and the owners are going to do it all. they seem like really nice people. they are in town this weekend to get what they are taking from the house. we are actually taking suz and heath to see it in the morning so we will get to meet them! i am excited! they arent taking much with them. they are leaving all of the furniture, most of the paintings, all the stuff in the kitchen, all appliances, pretty much everything stays! it is a newlyweds dream house. although we have tons of our own stuff! we will be having a massive yard sale! if anyone needs anything you think we might have let us know! we could work out a deal!

we are really excited about everything thats going on. all of this house buying business is totally new for us, but it has all gone way to smoothly! its nice and relaxing being at mom and dads for a couple of days! we have been pretty tired so im looking forward to getting some rest!

hope everyone has a GREAT weekend! i know im going to!

happy thursday! i am so tired after working last night! although it was the best night at work in a while! i love my job! i take care of babies that weigh just a few ounces up to 12 or 13 pounds. my favorite are the tiny lil preemies...they never cease to amaze me! ok...enough about work!

molly went to the doctor today and got her last round of shots, thank goodness! i think i hate it worse than she does. she did great though! we love our vet here in cahaba heights and are going to be sad to leave him when we move! we probably will bring her back to him to get her fixed in may. im not looking forward to leaving her there over night!

like i said a few sentences ago..."when we move". we found out yesterday that we got approved for a loan on our house! we are VERY excited! its located in rainbow city in riddles bend...right on the river! now all we need is a boat! if anyone knows of a good used boat for sale please let me know! my parents and family couldnt be happier that we are moving back. i never thought i would end up back at home. it is the perfect house on the perfect lot though! we know its where we are meant to be for now. as of right now we are supposed to close on my birthday march 25! we plan on having many parties and we love company, so come visit us!

i am sad about leaving my friends in birmingham...we have tons of friends here now between work, school, and everything else. there are other little things that i will miss as well, but i'm ready for a change! we will not miss the traffic, the hugeness, and again...the traffic! i will have to get used to driving back and forth again but i think it will work for a little while. i may try to go part time at uab and pick up something in gadsden one or two days a week. nicholas will probably start traveling very soon which we are very excited about! he has been ready to travel for a long time now!

last but not least...i will be going back to the doctor next tues at 2:00 for my test. please pray that everything goes well! i have actually found a peace in knowing that God has a much bigger plan for our lives than we do and there is absolutely no reason for me to worry and stress. i cant control what happens, but i rest assured that "God works for the good of those that love Him who are called according to His purpose." thank you for all of your prayers!

we have a busy weekend ahead! we will head to gadsden in the morning for our house inspection. and we are even more excited about suzy and heath coming home! they will be meeting ms. molly for the very first time! molly is excited too! i am also excited about the very large vera bradley bag we bought molly tonight for all of her stuff! i will admit...she is already totally rotten!!

i guess thats enough for now. i can barely hold my eyes open! hope everyone has a wonderful friday!!

my first post! wow...i have no clue where to begin! so much is going on in our lives right now! as newlyweds we have already been through so much together, and it has all only made us stronger as individuals and as husband and wife!! i will start with a few random facts to try and catch you up on our lives!

~ we became husband and wife october 25, 2008! the greatest day of our lives!
~ had the most amazing honeymoon in st. lucia
~ we are currently renting a brand new townhouse in cahaba heights, alabama which was totally built for looks and is totally falling apart
~ december 16, 2008 was the worst/scariest day of my life. nicholas took me to the emergency room where i spent 17 hours in excruciating pain and found out i had a raging infection.
~ december 18 i had surgery to remove my right fallopian tube and my appendix.
~ i am blessed with the most incredible husband in the entire universe who is patient, understanding, comforting, oh i could go on forever. he is the best!
~ if it were not for my incredible parents i dont know what we would have done during that not so fun time!
~ im better now!! i go back to the doctor next week to find out if my left fallopian tube still works. please say a huge prayer!
~ i've always wanted lots of kids
~ my amazing sister and her husband live in lafayette louisiana which is way too far away. i miss them terribly.
~ january 13 we got our very high maintenance child, MOLLY, who was only 8 weeks old! she is the best puppy in the world. she makes us very happy.
~ my best friend ashleigh is getting married august 22nd and i am extremely excited about it!
~ nicholas is going to start doing some travel nursing very soon and make lots of money...we hope!
~ im going to keep my job at uab in the neonatal intensive care for now. i love my job!!
~BIG NEWS!! we are in the process of buying a house in rainbow city and its on the RIVER!! we couldnt be more excited!
~ nicholas and i are so blessed to have each other and to have such wonderful friends and family!

i am just learning about this whole blog thing. we just have so many exciting things going on in our lives right now i wanted to be able to share it all with you! i will try to keep it current!

1 Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."